Divorce is hard on everyone involved but is especially difficult for your kids. One of your main goals during a divorce is helping your children cope with the loss of the family they know. This can be difficult for both parents to approach, so consider the following tips to help you deal with this new family dynamic:
Answer Their Questions Honestly
If you decide to divorce, there is no doubt that your children are going to have questions. This is especially true if the children were shielded from your discussions about the topic. You cannot assume that your children will perceive that you intend to end your marriage. When your children come to you with questions, as you should expect, you should be straightforward and honest in an age-appropriate way. You do not have to disclose every single detail behind your decision to divorce, but you can use words that your kids will understand.
What you should never do is allow your children to feel like they are to blame for your divorce. Children commonly will internalize any problems they perceive their parents have and will often blame themselves for your divorce. You should reinforce vigorously that your children have nothing to do with your decision and you will all move forward as loving parents to your kids.
Keep Them Busy
Once you decide to proceed with the divorce, one of the best things you can do is keep your children busy. They need to continue in their normal activities as much as they feel up to doing so. There are going to be feelings of sadness, and that is perfectly normal. Some of your children may want to take a few days away from their activities, but be sure to encourage them to get back as soon as they can. Keeping busy is a wonderful way to keep their mind off the difficulty at home.
Pursue Professional Help
With the changes in your lives, it may be helpful to seek therapy or support from groups of your peers. Talking through the differences and the changes coming up is a wonderful way to help your kids cope. You may even be enlightened to their true feelings if they are not as willing to open up to you. You also may want to have your children meet individually with a therapist. This may be more comfortable for some of your kids if they do not wish to speak in front of others.
Your divorce attorneys can help to make the process less traumatic for your family.Share