Communicating with your spouse is an inevitable part of the divorce process. Unfortunately, the use of technology can make this communication very detrimental. When you feel slighted or upset, the impulse to send a long text message may be high. If you get bad news, firing off a strongly worded e-mail may seem tempting.

While these feelings are very understandable, they can end up hurting you in the divorce process. Read on to discover why e-mailing and text messaging can cause issues and how you can avoid these problems.

Tone And Emotion: Difficult To Express In Writing

When you speak to people face-to-face, it is fairly easy to convey emotion. Facial expressions and similar gestures can show happiness, frustration, sadness, and so on. This is why mediation or speaking to your spouse with your attorneys present is a good idea.

However, there may be times when you need to communicate via e-mail or text messaging. If you can avoid doing so, that is ideal. If you can not, you need to take a cautious and mindful approach. No matter how you feel, remember that anything you put in writing can be interpreted in dozens of different ways.

If you must communicate through text or e-mail, try to use "I" statements. For example, say "I feel upset because it seems like we cannot come to an agreement." if you are upset. This is less antagonistic than saying "You really upset me when you do not agree with me." or something similar.

Acting Impulsively: Text Now And Regret It Later

When it is late at night and you are stressed out about a recent argument, you may feel the urge to fire off a hurtful text to your spouse. If you receive unpleasant news about the divorce, the temptation to give your spouse a piece of your mind is strong. Emotions and difficult situations often cause people to act impulsively, but you have to look at the big picture.

If you say something hateful or hurtful to your spouse, it may very well be used against you in the divorce process. Your spouse may end up showing the texts or e-mails you send to his or her divorce attorney. Coming across as hostile or angry does not do you any good.

If you are feeling impulsive or upset, then take some time to cool off before sending a text message. Sleep on it, wait 24 hours or go work out at the gym. Do what you need to do to decompress a bit. This will help get your negative energy out, and you can then stick to the "I" statements mentioned above.

What Is The Best Way To Communicate During A Divorce?

Every divorce is very unique, and the challenges you face may be unpredictable. Adhere to the advice above, but make sure to consult with your divorce attorney first. In some cases, no direct communication with your spouse is the best option. Your attorney can give you advice that is specific to your situation. For more information, visit websites like